MISSING PIECES

Realizing it's the end of the semester...studying for finals, hoping I'll actually pass my classes, knowing I've survived the first year of college...wow. It's been unreal. I've also noticed that I enter the MTC for my mission in just about a month...plus 4 days. But really, who's counting? With all this happening I find myself gravitating to the baby grand piano in the living room hoping that I can get my feelings out by touching the keys. I've had moments of silence just staring at a piece of music with my hands just sitting on the beautiful white keys. I sit and think about how I'm actually going to miss playing the piano. Then I wonder why I always begged my mom to let me quit, why I would cheat myself by changing the timer to a shorter amount of time to practice when mom was in the other room hoping she doesn't hear the sound of the buttons *beep...beep...beep...* No joke though, I did all that and here I am, one year and 5 months after I quit piano because of schedule conflicts, wishing I didn't have to stop playing. A piece of me is missing without music. I find peace in music; I find love; I find inspiration.

Giving up music I love all together is a tough thing for me. I am a true lover of music. I do love church music and stuff but not gonna lie a year and a half of that might get on my nerves. Although, I have to admit that I have grown to appreciate classical music. (Thank you, dad!) On trips we'd listening to that stuff on the road. I'm totally cool with that. I have fond memories of watching all the trees and grass, pastures, people, cities, etc. pass by with Beethoven, Bach playing in the background. {Another confession: sometimes Brett and I would drive around listening to awesome classical music when we were just in that type of mood. He had the best pieces ever!} Really though, it's actually a sacrifice for me to give up Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Youngblood Hawke, Passion Pit, Miike Snow, Vampire Weekend, Coldplay...need I go on? Crazy, right? I didn't really think it would be that big of a deal for me to give up this music until I read in a missionary handbook that if you need to get through something or have alone time then you better figure out a way to sort out what's going on with your companion around rather than turning to listening to music or playing the piano, laying on the couch and staring off, simply sitting alone. GUILTY! Of all those things haha. My way of figuring out how to deal with things instead of doing the list above....doing it as much as I can now. Probably not the most effective buuuuut let's be honest here, if I can't have it for a year and a half (and this is good stuff) then I think I'd rather take advantage of the opportunities I have now. Then again, they'll always be here. My 18 months comes once in a lifetime.

Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest I'm off to study for a history final I have tomorrow...and tickle the ivories a bit! Wish me luck, world!

{A little something to maybe brighten your day}